"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
They took my balls.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
