you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I came so hard my ears popped.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
