Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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