it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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