two words: eviction party
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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