What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
