my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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