Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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