So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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