he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
