you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize