I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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