He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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