i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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