Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
