I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
