its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
