Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
