Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
