we have officially lost it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
