I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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