READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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