Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
