Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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