great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
