Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
