He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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