I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
