he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
this will be a night to untag.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
