You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
