I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
