Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
