There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
