I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
