You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
