did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
