I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
birth control should be required to get into college
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
