i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
