When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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