what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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