I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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