But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
splinters make it hard to masturbate
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dicks are not precious.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
