both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
