Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
