she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize