It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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