They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
