My hand turned me down
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize