in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
