I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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