So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
