Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it's like iHOP with fire
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
