Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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