This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
