hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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