i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
