so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
