Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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