After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
