The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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