the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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