I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
