Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
