i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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