you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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