just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
