She is in my trunk
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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